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Posts Tagged ‘i know i’m rambling and i’m sorry’

Tessa, just generally.

Cooing and smiling with Tessa.

Washing my cloth diapers (no, I’m totally serious)

Thinking about planning my garden

The fact that recipes using milk and cheese and butter are seemingly no longer off limits

My mom is paying for me to get my house cleaned

The box of fruits and veggies from Door to Door Organics (I have a $5 coupon if you wanna try it! Tell them I sent ya!)

Homemade sourdough gluten free bread

Getting raw goat’s milk again, and the stories the farmer guy tells me to go with it

FPU Grad School at New Life

Audrey’s clear, eczema-free arms and legs

Emails from my husband

Getting to meet my nephew in two more months, and watching my sister with her first baby

My mom coming to my house for a nice long chat

My mom playing dodgeball with Hannah and Audrey

Jared Anderson’s People of Troy album

Rhapsody and Meebo apps for iphone

Being OFF Facebook!!!

Only taking Hannah to ballet and having special time with Audrey

Audrey begging to clean the dining room table (using a spray bottle of vinegar and water and a rag)

Dilynn, my mother’s helper, playing Barbies with H&A

Having someone I can call my mother’s helper

Possibly the end of Nick delivering pizza? (Though the long hours will continue, they will be more flexible)

What’s making you smile?

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Is it odd that when I see the words “germ free” on a humidifier box, I immediately decide not to get that one because it’s full of chemicals?

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Could someone please explain to me why the simple job of planning what we’re going to eat nearly sends me into panic attacks? It’s not that hard…list a breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then buy what we need. But it’s sooooo restrictive to me, and I worry about having too much or too little food and that we won’t want what I’ve planned and that I’ll forget some ingredient and not be able to make what’s on the schedule. See? Rather neurotic. I much prefer to cook from a pantry of items we always have on hand, but we absolutely MUST cut our grocery budget to a manageable amount. It’s killing our monthly budget! Sigh…

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We spent the entire day in jammies today. Everyone but Hannah and Tessa had a touch of a tummy bug of some kind, and Audrey ran a low fever for a few hours. Not exactly what I had pictured for the first Sunday Nick had off in…oh…6 months. But it could have been worse! Everyone seems on the mend tonight, thanks to prayer, probiotics, colloidal silver, chicken soup, and Oscillo.

Nick and Hannah gave Toby the dog a bath this afternoon. He’s all shiny now. We should maybe think about doing that more often? 🙂

I have about 5 different posts in my head right now…if I could only have enough time to sit down and write them!

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Beware. This is one of those “vomit all over you” posts. Well, that sounds too negative for what it will be. What I really mean is that I’m feeling rather cooped up, rather cut off, rather lonely. Haven’t had many people to share my thoughts with, as of late. This always eventually produces a long blog post.

I think we’ve finally done it – decided to change churches. It has been a long road, and something we’ve considered more times than I can count. Our hearts are being drawn away from New Life and, thus far, toward a little tiny church that is 3 minutes from our house. It’s a (rather loosely) Presbyterian church that is pastored by an ORU grad, of all things. There are about five children in the nursery with Hannah and Audrey. They LOVE it, and come home reciting their Bible verse and talking about how much fun it is. They eat up the focused attention from the older lady who teaches their Sunday School class. Nick and I are relieved and refreshed by the friendliness of the people, by the age span (we’re dying to have some older people around us, as well as peers and younger people), by the openness and sincerity of the pastor, by the possibility of using our musical gifts…by so many things. Obviously there’s more to this than I can convey very easily here, but I don’t see us changing direction. After visiting twice, the pastor stood and chatted with us for 20 minutes, even asking if we needed meals brought to us after the birth of the baby. We love New Life so much, and our hearts will always be tender toward it and the people there…we’re just feeling….lost there. I never thought I’d be the one to say that… Anyway, to all of our New Life friends – we love you and want our friendships to continue for years to come! Though we haven’t been around much in the past few months because of Nick’s insane schedule, please don’t count us out. 🙂

I continue to have tons of contractions, some hard and some not. At this point I’m pretty physically tired, compounded by the fact that Nick is still working 60 hour weeks. Rabbit trail: I keep toying with drastic measures we could take to get him out of this. Everything from going to one vehicle, to drastically changing the way I grocery shop, to me working again… People often ask us when we plan to stop this crazy schedule, and we just honestly don’t know. Something needs to give – a raise at his main job, a major break of some kind on the debt…something. We are sooooo blessed and have everything we need, in spite of being on a tight budget. But the choices we made, mostly related to college, have simply left us with too much debt. In spite of our progress the past few months, we don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. Frankly, we’re both tired of it, and so are the kids. End of rabbit trail.
I had my 38 week appointment with Laura the midwife on Friday. I’m 2cm, 60%, and baby’s at 0. Laura says that once labor really starts, it’s likely to be quick. I had lots of pre-labor stuff with both other kids, but honestly hoped it would be different this time because of my nutrition changes. Apparently this is just the way my body works. I know she’ll be here soon, but MAN, do the days ever drag on and on at this point! On the other hand, I keep hearing stories from people I know and people I don’t, of babies born way too early. Let me just say that I’m very thankful to still be pregnant rather than having to leave my tiny baby in a NICU somewhere. SO very thankful.

When I went to Dr P for acupuncture yesterday, he asked me about Audrey’s skin. I told him it was a still a struggle, and he said, well, next month when I get my new machine, we should be able to pinpoint exactly what’s going on and fix it. Um, WHAT??!! He didn’t have time to go into all the details, but he will be able to figure out precisely what is causing her reactions, whether they are environmental, or food, or bacterial, and fix them. Can I just say that is the best news I’ve had all week? Like, I could actually let my kids eat some things again without Audrey scratching herself bloody, and Hannah wetting her pants 6 times a day?

Kind of along those same lines, a very kind stranger sent me his extra water kefir grains for free! Our first batch was finished yesterday afternoon, and I’m happy to say it’s a big hit with Nick and the girls. I like the flavor just fine, but found it to be too much sugar for me, so more experimenting is in order. A longer ferment time will yield less sugar, or I could just use less, or I can also experiment with other sweeteners. I’m confident I’ll find something that will work. I have also been daily incorporating homemade broth into my diet, either by drinking it as a hot drink or cooking with it (or both). I ended up eating out twice this week, something that usually leaves me in pain for about 24 hours each time, and…it didn’t! I also indulged in mayonnaise a couple of times this week. The eggs always bother me if I overdo it. But I’d say my symptoms were cut in half. I’m pretty excited about that, after only a couple of weeks. I told Dr P about that, and he suggested also adding sauerkraut and naturally fermented pickles. I keep reading about those and cringing, but I guess will give them a try anyway. Nick grew up on that kind of food, being of Eastern European descent. He got all excited about eating sauerkraut…

Alright. I think I’ll drag my huge, contracting self upstairs for a nap while my kids sleep. That’s what’s up around here. Too much to put into a FB status. 🙂

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On Facebook…

Came across this today. I can’t help but fully agree.

Facebook becomes an addiction for me. And I don’t think I’m the only one. In just minutes (more minutes than I really have!) you can get a sense of connection with people all over the world! You can see what is going on with people who you would otherwise never heard from again. I have many of the same complaints as that blogger.

-Status updates from people I used to know that deeply upset me
-A sense that I must friend anyone who knows me and asks, whether I feel particularly connected to them or not
-A promise of connection with another human being that is at best shallow, and at worst yet another way for us to feel lonely. We get the sense we’re connecting, but it’s just enough to make us feel like we connected and not enough to keep away loneliness or deepen relationships.
-I can’t say anything serious to anyone without people with hugely differing opinions jumping to offer them. I wouldn’t have had that conversation with them – I don’t particularly enjoy arguing, believe it or not, and not at all over the internet. 🙂
-I simply cannot keep up with and be friends with everyone on there. Most people can only have a few good friends, and the others just gradually fade away. It’s nothing against them, you may even really like them, but there’s only so many hours in the day. I think Facebook creates an artificial pressure in this area, and I personally end up feeling sooo badly about it.

It’s cute, entertaining, often funny. But is it worth it? I’m just not sure. I must confess, at times, to leaving it open with the live feed going, and reading every entry. Sick.

Thoughts?

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Weekly Update

Christmas Shoes

I don’t feel like doing this today. Not sure why. Maybe I’ll figure it out?

1. My Gramma is here this weekend from Southern CA. We’ve been having fun hanging out and eating out. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen her. Wish Grampa could have come too. She bought the girls their Christmas outfits, and even got me a pair of warm boots. I’m very grateful!

2. We finally got the tree and decorations up this weekend. It feels a lot more like Christmas. Getting the tree up was an adventure in and of itself…the trunk of the tree wouldn’t fit in the stand we had, so Nick had to go back to Walmart (a 30-40 minute roundtrip) and get another one. By the time we got it all up, it was…later than I care to admit. The girls were very tired Sunday, as Hannah lately gets up at 7:15 no matter what time she goes to bed. (Why do kids do that?) Like I told one friend, life provides much better material than movies…

3. I keep searching for a bread recipe we can eat. I have another one I’m going to try. It will have to be more like quick bread because of no yeast, which just doesn’t have the sandwich bread consistency I wish we could find. Our health food store no longer seems to carry the one brand of bread we could eat, so we’re going without. I miss my toast and almond butter – one of my favorite snacks!

4. We had our first real business crisis on Saturday. At what should have been her final fitting, the bride tried on the dress and the seamstress who put the zipper in had made the dress too small to zip up. I looked over at Holly as she was trying to get it to zip and my stomach dropped when I saw the look on her face. This bride’s wedding is this coming Saturday. It can and will be fixed in time, but with several hours of work. We usually aim to be finished with gowns a month in advance, but did this dress in two months total, because of their short engagement. Whew. Stress? Just a little. I’m just glad it can be fixed…

5. We have two Christmas parties this week, both with (lots of) kids. I think the goal is at least partially organized chaos…if we hit that for an hour, we have succeeded. 🙂

6. The cottage across the street from us is for rent again. It is 700 sq ft, 2 bed 1 bath for $600 a month. It has a fenced yard, and looks (from the outside) like they take pretty good care of it. Somebody who’s not a weirdo, please come rent this! 🙂See how cute it is?

OK, I think I’m done for today. Just feeling a little burnt out and tired. Maybe I’ll go cuddle my kiddos and watch Little Einsteins for a while… 🙂

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