New blog

Hi readers!
I’ve been blogging at Why I Sing for the past few months. Come visit!

Stream of Consciousness

Life is pretty hard right now.

So many details are involved that I’m uncomfortable throwing them all out into the void that is the web. It’s always something.

As for the things I can share:

Parenting is sooooo hard sometimes. I’m a huge proponent of the idea that you, as the parent, know the right thing to do. I firmly believe that. Except when you don’t.

My sweet cousin-in-law was in a horrible accident last night that could have cost her life. They were just crossing the street after a church volleyball game and she was hit by a guy on a motorcycle. They expect her to recover, but it could be months. She’s in so much pain that they’re keeping her in medicated sleep for right now. I can’t imagine what my cousin is going through, seeing that happen to his wife RIGHT NEXT to him. Can’t imagine.

Sometimes life is just hard. Sometimes it’s good to cry about it.

I’m more convinced than ever that the only way to do life is to seek God wholeheartedly. I would not be getting out of bed in the morning right now, apart from a firm reliance on God’s faithfulness. I’m reading Proverbs every day and asking for wisdom. God promises He’ll give it when we ask. I’m also reading through the Bible chronologically, and currently am totally captivated by the line of Abraham, all the messes they made, and yet how God used their family line to bring the Messiah to all of us. What an amazing Redemption.

Nick and I led worship at church this weekend. We used to lead middle school worship together in college, but it’s been probably 7 years now. We were rusty, but overall it just flowed… I’m amazed at how things like that don’t go away, even if God has you waiting on Him for years. It felt wonderful, and yet funny in a way. My life has become very private, and it’s funny to be evaluated and put yourself out there again. A bit vulnerable feeling, but good. It is so good for me to focus on Who God is, as opposed to my stuff. He is faithful, He is good, He is all the things the songs say about Him, even when my world is difficult. Relief comes in focusing on Him as the answer, rather than on the problems.

Audrey’s eczema has flared up again. It’s really bad and I don’t know exactly why. The only thing we’ve really changed is the eggs we were buying, as our favorite mom-and-pop health food store closed its doors after 15 years. We can get them at another locally owned place, but haven’t yet made the trip. I hoped “pastured” eggs from Whole Foods would be similar to the eggs we were buying (they sure cost enough!), but they’re obviously not. I never wanted to see my baby have to deal with that ever again. It’s so painful. To her and me.

And, I figured out a way to blog. So maybe I’ll be getting back to it. 🙂

Weekly Update

Blogging has been tough with our computer setup in the apartment. Our computer is currently sitting on the window seat in our bedroom. In order to type, I am crouched on the floor between the bed and the window seat, perched on the balls of my feet, back against the bed, knees against the window seat, with the keyboard on my knees. My feet are falling asleep. We need a very, very small desk that will fit in the living room. I miss writing!

Outside my window… it’s actually warm again. It’s been chilly the past few days, which although I don’t mind a few days of break from the heat, it always makes me start to worry that the warm weather is gone…again…for the next 10 months. NOT ready for that yet. At all. Summer could stay another 6 months and that would make me happy.

I am thinking… about our former landlord. I’m sad to say we’re having to sue to get our security deposit returned. He’s trying to just disappear on us. He’s already outside of his rights as a landlord, and we will win, as long as there isn’t some strange technicality. Never thought we would have to sue someone. We dragged our feet for almost a whole month, hoping he would come through, but he hasn’t. Nick took the paperwork down this morning.

I am hearing… the girls talking about what movie to watch. The bathroom fan, which provides enough “white noise” that I can type in my bedroom while Tess sleeps.

Some highlights from the week… My brother’s very sweet wedding. He choked up as he said his vows. He carried her back down the aisle. They really do love each other very much. God’s grace is sufficient.

Seeing Hannah and Audrey as flower girls. They did exactly what they were supposed to, and looked absolutely gorgeous. So cute! Can’t wait for the pictures!

Hanging out with Aunt Karen and Uncle Andy. So glad they came.

I am thankful for… safe, healthy children, a husband who loves me and is kind and committed to our family, Nick’s opportunity to lead worship next weekend (!!!), a safe, quiet place to live that is enough.

From the kitchen… LOTS of eating out this week, with the wedding and family in town. Bleh.

I am wearing… blue and black checked “maxi” dress. It’s comfy.

I am reading…several books from the library about pioneer women. I’ve always loved that era, and I think the women who successfully lived that way are amazing. Also a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I’ve been looking into Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) for birth control. Honestly, I’m not holding my breath as this kind of thing has not worked for us in the past. 😉 But I agree with the concept. Now I just need to actually DO it. Or else…we’ll just have another baby sooner than later. I got pregnant with Audrey when Hannah was 8 months. Tessa is now 7 months. That’s just crazy.

I am hoping… that the court stuff will go smoothly and painlessly. If/when we win, it would go a long way toward paying off debt.

One of my favorite things… My Hannah. She is growing up fast, and I’m seeing her begin to understand and communicate more. She has been a difficult kid for me to understand, but as she’s able to tell me what she’s thinking and feeling, I’m hopeful that we will form a relationship with lots of trust.

A few plans for the rest of the week… Rest. A playdate. Tea with a friend. Worship rehearsal. Cleaning the apartment. Bread baking. Hugging kids.

7 Quick Takes

1. We spent Saturday running errands as fast as we could, and then FINALLY headed down south to the lake where there’s a swimming area set up. The same town still has a drive-in theater and we saw Toy Story 3. Sitting in the back of the van, snuggling with my little girls was the best way I could think of to see that movie. Nice warm weather, very cute movie, very sweet family time.

2. I am the ONLY one of the family to come home with mosquito bites from this outing. I am actually allergic to them, and they swell 1-2” in diameter and get hot and red and itch so bad it can keep me up at night. I have yet to find anything that helps, except…oh…a week or two. I wish I was exaggerating.

3.  My 19 year old sister is on her way to Europe for two weeks. I’m just a bit jealous. They’re going from London to Italy, with stops in between. Hope she’ll have an amazing time.

4. In spite of the mess surrounding me in the apartment, I took the time to organize my Google reader subscriptions this morning. They were bugging me – more than the dirty dishes, more than the dirty laundry, more than the toys on the floor and the stuff from the lake waiting to be put away. I have no idea what this says about me.

5. On a related topic, I found an iphone app that has all the flylady routines on it. When you complete a task you check it off and get a gold star. Then you can click on “accomplishments” and see everything that you’ve done for the day. Staying on task when it comes to housework is incredibly difficult for me, and the only way I can do it is with lists, otherwise I get caught up in some other project. I’m excited about this.

6. Nick wanted an iphone for his birthday and we didn’t want to pay/wait for the new one, so we ordered a 3Gs. Mine is just a 3G, and I’m excited about having the video capabilities. He insists I take the new one and he’ll take mine, because I’ll “use it more.” I have been objecting to this since the day we ordered it, and he has yet to change his mind. What a guy! I get a new phone today. Wahoo!

7. My mom is letting me use her grain grinder and Bosch mixer/blender. I’m trying to figure out which project to do first. The main one is baby food – it’s time to start that again! But bread with freshly ground flour is in the plan as well.

Weekly Update

Outside my window… It’s sunny and warm. I can see the entire northeast side of the city and the forest north of here.

I am thinking… that I might have been all wrong about what I needed in order to be content.

I am hearing… Tessa fussing a bit. Hoping those teeth pop through soon.

Some highlights from the week… Our pastor and his wife coming to our little apartment to talk about worship ministry. Nick’s playing Sunday morning, and my turn will be in a few weeks.

Watching my kids learn to use their floaties in the swimming pool.

Unpacking the place, one box at a time. Every one feels like a major accomplishment.

I am thankful for… a place to live. God knew what we really needed.

A church experience that I’d about given up on.

The ability to get my teeth fixed.

From the kitchen… I’ve cut back quite a bit on the food projects since the move. I’ve been craving simplicity, and just haven’t had time or space to do lots of experimenting. Had to restart my sourdough starter, and have that working again. Doing water kefir still. But bread baking, and any meals except very simple ones have not happened. I think I’ll get back to them, but I’m not feeling any sense of urgency to do so at the moment.

I am wearing… white capris and a green shirt I got for my birthday.

I am reading…started The Secret Garden with the girls yesterday. I have no idea if they’ll stick with me through it, but it starts a little slow so I’ll push through for now. It’s one of my all-time favorites, and I decided I couldn’t wait anymore to try it with them. 🙂

I am hoping… to get our deposit back from our landlord soon. I always feel like we have to hold our breath until that happens. We left the place far better than we found it, but there’s no guarantee people won’t do weird stuff.

One of my favorite things… Honestly, reading my Bible on my iphone. Oh, and listening to Nick play guitar again for the first time in a long time.

A few plans for the rest of the week… a playdate…I’m long overdue to see so many of my friends, but we’re pretty tired from this past month. Hoping I can get back in touch with more people soon.

Meeting Nick’s sister in Denver on Saturday. Maggiano’s (yummy!) and a trip to Chuck e. Cheese to play. Should be fun!

Haven’t taken any pictures the past couple weeks. Have to get back to that! 🙂

Have a good week!


Now that we’ve moved and everything is calmer, my body has decided it’s time for a vacation. I do not remember the last time I felt soooo tired. I’ve taken 2 1/2 hour naps with my kids the past two days.

Anybody need a comfy but worn couch?

Smaller houses make it much easier to watch kids.

I am so going to sell or give away about 90% of the stuff we moved. Wish I’d had time to do that before moving it! 😉

My sourdough starter got neglected over the move and went bad somehow. I have never smelled a smell quite like it. Wow.

Tessa is not a fan of my stress. Hoping she’ll calm down soon. Nursing is a wrestling match right now.

I’m turning 30 on Friday. Neato.

The end.

…and now I feel better. This isn’t my house.