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You should watch this

If you haven’t seen it, you should go rent the John Adams HBO Miniseries. I kept hearing about it, and finally rented it from Netflix. After it sat on the shelf for a couple of weeks (hey, we’re busy around here!), Nick and I finished the first disc of the three disc series last night. I’m fascinated.

I love:

-the acting.

-seeing the men we’ve always read and heard about, fleshed out by actors.

-watching Abigail Adams and how she and John interact.

-understanding (or remembering, as the case may be) the reasons for what happened in those days. They really had no other choice but to declare independence.

-the history – the way the homes are run, the way people speak to each other, etc.

There is one scene in each episode that is very, very hard to watch. I wouldn’t recommend this for elementary age kids, or maybe even some middle schoolers unless you skip parts.

Honestly, I know there are have been improvements made to the original constitution (abolishing slavery, giving women the right to vote, etc.), but for the most part I wish we could go back to the way this country was originally intended to run. In some ways we’re so far from it, yet in other ways, miraculously, still very much the same. It really was, and is, an amazing system of government these men created.

Also, the odds they were up against were ridiculous, and yet they stood up and made massive decisions that changed history. The people who functioned based on fear of what might happen did not become the great men of history – their names are forgotten.

Very compelling…you should watch it. Gotta go look up a good biography on Abigail Adams now…

Tired

It has been a tired week around here. Nick worked 60 hours at his regular job, finishing up tax things like w-2’s and 1099’s and payroll tax returns. Thankfully he was able to get people to cover his pizza shifts for the weekend, which was good since he worked all day Saturday.

Raising three children by yourself is difficult. I do not recommend it.

Sunday we really enjoyed church, and even sat in on a meeting about placing membership which is a funny concept to me after attending New Life for so long. Basically you’re saying you love God and plan to go to church regularly. Think we can handle that. The worship leader walked up to Nick and I, we had missed the announcement about the membership meeting, and she said, “The first step to getting involved in worship would be to go to that meeting. Can I watch your kids for you?” Heh. So she did. And she fed them gingersnaps, which should have caused a terrible gluten reaction, but we prayed over them when we got home and they didn’t react. Thank you, God. So we’re excited about being somewhere that is excited to have us. And we love how people have reached out to us. I’ve already met two stay at home moms with young kids who live right in my neighborhood. Play dates at the park this summer, for sure!

Tessa smiled at me yesterday. I feel like I can all of a sudden see her personality. She’s making eye contact more, and is such a sweet, gentle kid. After several days where she cried a lot and couldn’t be comforted, I broke down and gave her a pacifier, even though I much prefer my kids suck their fingers if they need to, for many reasons. Hannah and Audrey never liked the pacifier, but Tessa took right to it, and seems so much more relaxed.

Aside from Nick working so much, I have found the transition to three to be very easy. I’m enjoying Tessa so much and she’s such a great addition to our family. She sleeps amazingly well, 5-6 hours at a time at night, is finally nursing like a champ, and smells so good. Never mind that she’s currently fussy even though she’s eaten and has a dry diaper. I gained 38 pounds with my pregnancy and have lost 23 of that, which I’m very happy with since I’m nursing.

I ordered our cloth diapers today, after our 21 day trial ended. I’m doing regular old prefolds with Thirsties covers (trying one of these too). I have a snappi, which I will probably use more as she starts crawling, but I like that these covers don’t require any kind of fastener, and are easy to launder.

Part of my tiredness today is from staying up till midnight last night, watching Worst Cooks in America with Nick. We were very entertained by the show, but found the finale to be terribly anticlimactic. I’d love to go to culinary school, along with about 5 other schools. One lifetime to live is not enough.

I’m talking with my kids about what we want to plant in our vegetable garden this spring. It’ll be time to start plants in another month or so. I threw together this little chart so I could start thinking about when to do stuff. And while I’m at it, here’s my nifty weekly list that I use. The “friends” box is for people I want to talk with or make plans with for that week. Back to the garden – I’m debating whether doing a raised bed, or renting a tiller and amending the sand soil is a better, more cost effective plan…

OK, better go insist on naptime. It’s getting late!

Raising a Leader

Every mother in the world would like for her children to make a difference. There’s something amazing about contributing to the next generation, putting your mark on a world that has yet to come. Mothers do that with their kids. Every person makes a difference in their world, but some kids are born leaders. Every parent with one of these kids knows exactly what I’m talking about.

I was one of those children. I know you’re shocked.

I also have one of those children.

I was a funny kid. And as I watch Hannah and see myself through my mother’s eyes, I find myself to be even funnier.

Some things I remember about myself as a kid:

-I almost always knew the answers to every question in Sunday school, and I had to learn the hard way not to answer every question. As a 10 year old, I got into a debate with my 65 year old male teacher about the Day-age theory of Creationism. My dad loves Creation Science, and I knew what I was talking about. We had quite the ongoing debate. I had a lot of nerve.

-I got perfect scores in PGMB, my church’s version of Awanas, I think three years in a row.

-I believed it was my sole responsibility to protect not only my brothers and sisters, but my 19 cousins, and all 40-some kids that attended our small church.

-I always thought I had the funniest story to tell, and had to tell it, no matter the audience. I had no fear. If you’ve never heard the “what was in the bush” story, ask one of my family or close relatives.

-After finishing my schoolwork, I spent hours each day gardening, climbing the apricot tree to pick the perfect apricot, reading books and laughing at them out loud, building forts with clothespins and old sheets, making tours of the backyard using our old red wagon and insisting my younger siblings participate (they usually obliged), making things like a Kid Kit (remember those from the Babysitters Club books?), pulling chairs up to the kitchen counter and climbing wherever I needed to, to get whatever I thought I needed.

-At least in my head, I was the star of every production, of every piano performance, of every gathering.

I could have driven my mom nuts. I was a handful. But instead, she chose to really love me. She allowed me to be creative, even when it made huge amounts of work and cleanup for her. She was gentle when she reminded me 500 bazillion times not to climb on the kitchen counter. She taught me about humility when I didn’t understand why I couldn’t brag about my piano abilities. She was kind to me about being bossy, helping me understand how to lead in a way that people wanted to follow. The way she saw things, that’s what she was there to do. There was nothing else more important to her than helping me and my siblings grow up feeling loved. And I did. And do.

Now, as an adult, I still have 10 projects going at once. I’m not afraid of very much. I led worship in front of thousands as a college kid. I prefer to read 5 books at a time. I can come up with pretty good ideas to fix most problems. I kinda enjoy being the one to say what everyone else is thinking but are too scared to say.

I have learned (hopefully…most of the time) not to run over people in my enthusiasm, but it’s still hard for me sometimes. I’m easier on myself than I used to be, and therefore on other people too – I was very capable of beating myself to a pulp before I started to understand God’s grace. I can keep my mouth shut when I need to, with effort. I can submit to someone in authority over me without becoming bitter.

But I’m still myself.

It’s hard on me, on most parents I think, to see themselves in their kids. As I kid I felt I had some Divine responsibility for everybody else, but watching my baby girl I realize some people probably thought I was obnoxious. That makes me want to step in to squelch it in her – to protect her from the judgment of people. To keep her from being misunderstood or embarrassing herself (or me, if I’m being honest). Because I learned it the hard way in some cases…but to do that would be to take away part of who God created her to be!

I’m trying to figure out what it looks like to parent her well. When she argues with me, because she has an opinion about everything, I’m tempted to see that as rebellious and discipline her for it. And sometimes she needs that. She definitely must learn to be respectful in the way she communicates. But if I didn’t allow her to have an opinion (after all, I always have one!), how will she learn to lead effectively? And it’s obvious that is part of how she’s made.

Over the past 4 1/2 years my mom has had some excellent thoughts about how to parent a child like this. Stay one step ahead of her – always have something for her to do. Otherwise she’ll get bored and get into trouble in her curiosity and with her high energy level. Make sure she gets enough exercise. Allow her to have control over areas of her life that are appropriate. For example she loves “organizing” her own dresser drawers. Her organization process makes no sense to me, but that’s something I can allow her to have complete control over. Choose your battles – don’t make unnecessary rules, but when there is an important battle of the wills, win decisively. For us, homeschooling is also a big part of the picture. She can be herself, learn at her own pace (which might be quite a bit faster in some areas than she’d be allowed to move in a large classroom), and pursue things that interest her. I’ve also found she needs some structure in her life. A regular routine with regular meals and sleep times, and a relatively organized environment help her to be much calmer.

I certainly have not mastered this, but I think about it a lot. What thoughts do you have on the subject? Most families have a personality type like this. While being sure to build up our children and not tear them down, even in this forum that most of them will never see, what works for your leader?

Update

Outside my window… We got a dusting of snow last night. It looks very cold and miserable. And I need to go to the post office. And Hannah wants to go to Gramma’s house.

I am thinking… About the Beth Moore study on Esther I’m going to. About nutrition and how it might help me quit getting cavities. About what project to start next. About my friend from Bible school whose husband had a sudden heart attack and passed away Tuesday morning. She has three children 4 and under. I simply cannot imagine what she’s going through. Pray for Myriah and the kids, please!

I am hearing… Tessa fussing upstairs. She’s not into the morning nap thing today.

Some highlights from the week… We got to take the kids to a local “family fun center” on Monday and Tuesday night, because the pizza company Nick works for hosted family nights. It usually costs $20 per person for the pass we had – we could do pretty much everything, and there’s lots to do!

I am thankful for… the extra hours Nick has at his regular job this week. They’re doing end of the year tax stuff, which is highly stressful to him, but the extra hours mean he doesn’t have to be out delivering pizza. He’s been able to get his last three shifts covered, and he was home all weekend last weekend.

From the kitchen… I “preheated” my sourdough starter the other day. It’s too cold for it to work unless I leave it in my oven with the oven light on, and I totally forgot and turned the oven on. Oh well. Starting again!

There’s a batch of water kefir on the counter. I keep trying different fruit in it to flavor it, but don’t get the color or flavor that most people seem to get. Not sure what I’m doing wrong?

Just put us on the waiting list for raw goat’s milk this spring – I hope to make yogurt and kefir and maybe cheese!

I did some bean sprouts and we’re loving those – Nick eats them on everything. Next time I’ll do smaller batches, there were too many to finish before they’re not as fresh as I like them to be. I’m super picky about that.

Found a yogurt maker at a thrift store for $5. It’s an older one, with five glass containers. Pretty handy, especially since I don’t have a dehydrator and see above for my reliability with my oven. Heh! Anyway, I made one batch of coconut milk yogurt that tasted good but didn’t let it go long enough and it was super runny. I’ll try that again this week.

Still planning to make sauerkraut, but haven’t worked up the courage…

I am wearing…Red shirt, white tank, comfy blue pants that I’ll change into jeans when we actually go somewhere. It’s cold!

I am reading…Esther. I kind of hit information overload in the past couple of days with all the nutrition research I’ve been doing, so I’m going to take a bit of a break on that, and take time to process and pray over what God wants for our family.

I am hoping…that the new schedule I have instituted around here starts to get us organized. So far it seems to be working. Also putting chore charts together for Hannah and Audrey so we can start doing allowance for them.

One of my favorite things…these chocolate chip cookies. Oh, man.

A few plans for the rest of the week…trying ballet again with the girls. Later class so it shouldn’t interrupt naptime, and a different teacher. Hopefully this will work! Um, it’s going to be February?

A picture thought I’m sharing…

Meal planning

Could someone please explain to me why the simple job of planning what we’re going to eat nearly sends me into panic attacks? It’s not that hard…list a breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then buy what we need. But it’s sooooo restrictive to me, and I worry about having too much or too little food and that we won’t want what I’ve planned and that I’ll forget some ingredient and not be able to make what’s on the schedule. See? Rather neurotic. I much prefer to cook from a pantry of items we always have on hand, but we absolutely MUST cut our grocery budget to a manageable amount. It’s killing our monthly budget! Sigh…

Sick Day

We spent the entire day in jammies today. Everyone but Hannah and Tessa had a touch of a tummy bug of some kind, and Audrey ran a low fever for a few hours. Not exactly what I had pictured for the first Sunday Nick had off in…oh…6 months. But it could have been worse! Everyone seems on the mend tonight, thanks to prayer, probiotics, colloidal silver, chicken soup, and Oscillo.

Nick and Hannah gave Toby the dog a bath this afternoon. He’s all shiny now. We should maybe think about doing that more often?

I have about 5 different posts in my head right now…if I could only have enough time to sit down and write them!

Technorati Tags: boring,stuff you don’t care about

Links

A list of things I’ve found interesting this week:

Josh’s Sounds for my Soul posts. We played in a worship band together in Tulsa in what seems like another lifetime, and he has good taste in music.

This post about raising your own chickens for meat. Please don’t think I’m a horrible person – I think I could actually do this. While I do enjoy having pets, I also tend to keep my distance from them emotionally. And what she says about knowing EXACTLY where that chicken had been, I get that. Maybe I would surprise myself, but there’s just something so inviting to me about truly producing my own food. It’s earthy and basic and…I dunno. I’ll quit trying to explain myself now.

You do not want to click on this link if you are not female and interested in birth. Trust me. But, this post on labor was absolutely fascinating. When I read this kind of thing it honestly kinda makes me want to vomit, having so recently experienced it. Yet I can’t. quit. reading. And what she describes here is so like what I experienced this time, that it was highly reassuring to me. I would love to do something related to helping women birth naturally someday. Don’t know if I have it in me to be a midwife, but I am fascinated.

We have one of these strollers that were recalled this week. I have yet to go dig it out of the garage and see which kind of finger-amputating contraption it has, so I can order the repair kit.

I’m making sauerkraut this weekend. Nick LOVES it, and I’m….getting used to it. No, really it’s not bad at all.

“strengthen and establish and to exhort and comfort and encourage…strengthen and establish and to exhort and comfort and encourage…strengthen and establish and to exhort and comfort and encourage…”

I wrote this post about Eggs. And then the co-author of Dangerous Grains made a comment on it! How cool!!!

In which I start again…

I read a lot of blogs. Actually, that should say I’m subscribed to a lot of blogs. As of this writing, I have 706 unread blogs n my reader. That’s after I spent quite a bit of time last night on the iphone catching up, and more time this morning. Every 6 months or so, I realize this has gotten out of hand and unsubscribe from anything that has become unimportant. I’m also a big fan of that “mark as read” button.

My own blogging has somewhat fallen off in the past couple of months. Understandably, I’d say. I mean, when you can see this every day,

and smell that sweet newborn smell, not to mention all the work that goes with it, it’s easy to do that instead of write. But I miss writing. So, I’m making it a new goal – a post a day. Check back – keep me accountable. Really. I’ll feel better.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I relate to the older kids. Since having Tessa, it’s been harder for me to give Hannah and Audrey the attention I want to. Also, even though Nick cut back his hours at the pizza place, he’s been having to work extra hours at his regular job, which has made for long hours anyway. This in turn makes for a tired mommy. I was reading my Bible (read: desperate for some truth to keep me going) a couple of days ago, and came across this:

Thessalonians 3:2 AMP

And we sent Timothy, our brother and God’s servant in [spreading] the good news (the Gospel) of Christ, to strengthen and establish and to exhort and comfort and encourage you in your faith,

Right at that moment, I heard God whisper to me, “That’s your job with your kids. Strengthen, establish, exhort, comfort, and encourage.” Oh, is that all? No, but really…that simplifies things. Punish is not in there, because the goal is not to make them feel guilty, it’s to build them up. Belittle is definitely not there. Frustrate is not there either. Not that I should never discipline – exhort means “to give warnings or advice : make urgent appeals.” Discipline is included there in my mind. But the majority of my interaction with them needs to be positive, and it hasn’t been that way lately.

My days go so fast right now. Before I know it the morning is gone and naptime has come. Evenings are a blur – with or without Daddy home – and then we’re to that exhausted please-go-to-bed-right-now time. More than anything I want to become more intentional about my time with my kids. Not just surviving, but thriving and enjoying the time with them. It’s a daily process. I feel like part of the key for us is to strike that balance between a schedule and flexibility – a continual struggle for me. If bedtime happens before I get too tired, there is still energy for conversations and Bible time at bedtime. If I get out of bed in the morning before the kids do, I tend to be more centered and better able to greet them cheerfully and purposefully. If I feed them when they’re hungry instead of waiting for some specific time when they “should” be hungry, I head off tantrums and low-blood-sugar-related bad moods…

What things do you do to connect with your kids in a meaningful way?

meeUp Baby Carriers

I’ve been so excited to post this review!

My blog friend Shelly makes the coolest pouch-style baby carriers, and she was kind enough to make one for Tessa and me, and let us review it here.

As you can see, Tessa was thrilled.

I really love the simplicity of meeUp carriers. With most other carriers there’s a (sometimes big) learning curve while you figure out how to adjust everything properly. Because meeUps are made to your shirt size, they come “pre-adjusted” and all you have to do is throw it over your shoulder and put baby in. I also love that Shelly chooses new pretty fabrics to offer every season, and you get to pick your favorite! If you’ve ever been overwhelmed by the price of baby carriers, you definitely need the check these out because they are very affordable. And you can even have a matching one made for your little girl and her baby doll.

My meeUp came wrapped with complete instructions on several different ways to carry the baby in it, including pictures. It was all tied up with a bow and almost looked too pretty to unwrap! Until Tessa can hold her head up we’re limited to the cradle carry like in this picture, but as she grows I can’t wait to try out the other ways of carrying her.

Baby wearing makes life so much simpler – dishes, laundry, shopping, and many other tasks that seem overwhelming and impossible because of a crying baby are peaceful and easy with a sleeping baby in a carrier. Tessa almost always goes to sleep within 10 minutes of being worn. Head over to meeUp baby carriers and check them out!