I was chatting with Hannah tonight and she told me that when she is quiet, that God talks to her. “What does He say”? I asked her. Her answer? “I love you.”
Excuse me while I melt and/or get all emotional-like. My baby has her own relationship with God!
More Daybook entries at Peggy’s
For Today…November 16, 2009
Outside my window… It’s dark. It’s 6pm. I’m still not used to this. Every night about this time I have to convince myself it’s not time to go to bed.
I am thinking…about my friends and how I miss being with them. We’re going to try to make it to playgroup in the morning, if it kills us. Because staying home alone another day probably would! 
I am hearing… the girls downstairs supposedly watching a movie, but really they’re just playing. I guess that’s a good thing.
Some highlights from the week…
We paid off the final two credit cards from our plan today! Wahoo! We still have two more cards, plus student loans and the Jetta, but the intense program we’ve been on for the past four months is done. Next month we will pay off the midwife, and then on to the rest after the first of the year. Man, am I glad to never have to talk to those people again…8 creditors down…
Last weekend, a couple of friends from college who just moved here called us up. They moved from a 4 bedroom house in Tulsa to a one bed townhouse here, decided they wanted to give away their extra furniture, and they wanted us to have first pick! They are a young couple with great taste in furniture and no kids, so it’s all practically brand new. We got several really nice things that make us feel like our home decorating is complete for the first time. We even have a dining room table and real chairs (not folding ones) for the first time in our marriage! I’m amazed at how God has provided for us lately, even blessing us with things we don’t really “need,” but that just make life easier, better, and more fun. He’s so good to us…
I put a step stool in the bathroom, and now Audrey can go potty all by herself. Um, why didn’t I do this months ago?
I am thankful for…New furniture, for Dr P telling me how to make my back and hips a bit better without more trips to the chiropractor, for motivation to do a bunch of cleaning and projects this week, that the motivation rubbed off on Nick over the weekend and he wanted to help, that my kids are pretty much well, for a date night tomorrow night, that two weeks from tomorrow I will be 37 weeks and free to have this baby anytime – even if she doesn’t come yet.
From the kitchen… GF chicken and dumplings for dinner tonight. It was pretty good, though I sure wish I could use egg instead of flax seed to hold them together. I also hate bean flour of any kind – it tastes awful and hurts stomachs around here, so I used sweet rice flour in place of it. And we can’t do thyme right now so I used marjoram instead. And I used Spectrum shortening in place of margarine. Lots of substitutions usually mean it doesn’t turn out quite like it should, but it still hit the spot. Of course, I had to sit and feed bites to both kids to get them to eat it, but they did eat, and even seemed to like it. Soups are hard to eat for my kids. Is that normal? It seems weird.
I am wearing… Gray pants, white tank, yellow sweater. I’m at the pregnancy stage when most things I’ve been wearing the whole time don’t cover the belly anymore.
From the learning rooms…Hannah has become very interested in her letters. We spent a few minutes today looking at a book of animals and talking about how to spell the names of them. I wrote some of the letters she noticed on a piece of paper, and then handed her the pen so she could play at copying some of them. She LOVED it. At this point she only really recognizes a handful of upper-case letters, but she’s so curious that I’m excited to just give her information as she looks for it.
I am reading…I read some out of Nehemiah today. I’m always struck by the fact that God thought each person rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem was important enough to list them by name, and tell what they rebuilt. God sees what we do in secret, even if no one else finds it important enough to recognize.
I am hoping… to sleep better tonight. So far I have resisted the urge to sleep in the recliner, but my hips have been objecting to being on my side all night. I feel sorta like I’m made out of…play-doh.
I am creating…a baby. And she’s almost done. And I can’t wait to see her and hold her and nurse her and change her and smell her and snuggle her. With Hannah, it was the equivalent of tomorrow morning that my fluid started leaking.
I am praying…for a healthy baby and peaceful, BORING delivery. For God’s provision as Nick will need to take some time off after the baby comes. For guidance as I work through some discipline issues with kiddos.
One of my favorite things…my huge bathtub. The end.
Around the house…Let’s see…yesterday I hemmed the downstairs curtains and fixed the one kitchen curtain that needed it. That project has been looming over my head for literally 4 or 5 months. Next on the agenda, get the baby’s room finished (after Nick has time to put the crib together-my parents gave us a twin bed for Audrey this weekend, yay!), recover the bar stools my parents gave us, cover the dining room chairs with clear plastic, and start collecting birth supplies!
A few plans for the rest of the week… playgroup tomorrow, date night tomorrow night thanks to sister and bro-in-law, the last prenatal before my home visit on Thursday!
A picture thought I’m sharing… girls and Toby playing in the snow on Sunday afternoon. They took it upon themselves to clear all the snow off the railing of the deck. It kept them busy for a good hour. Two weeks in a row with a picture! I’m proud of myself! Yay for the iphone…
I know how much so many of you LOVE your coffee…so maybe you don’t want to read this. But I gotta tell ya, I don’t drink anything caffeinated, and recently cut chocolate out because I suspected it was making me feel dizzy and stressed, and I sure feel more relaxed. I can sleep at night, baby Tessa has actually established sleeping patterns for the first time this pregnancy (as opposed to just going nuts at all hours of the day and night), and once she’s born and we start breastfeeding, I’d be quitting the chocolate anyway. Dr P says chocolate is a major cause of mastitis (oddly enough), and colic.
Anyway, worth a read! There’s lots of reasons to avoid caffeine while you’re pregnant, and coffee altogether – pregnant or not.
So many women have asked me the same question addressed in this post. “How do we eat healthy if my husband isn’t on board”? Some men were never taught to eat vegetables, some just don’t buy into the health food thing, others have had bad experiences. Whatever the issue is, this is an area that deserves gentle and careful attention. I really like the suggestions she offers in this post. Our husbands deserve to be treated with respect, even when they disagree with what we KNOW is “right.” I would also add prayer into the mix. Ask God to show you areas where your heart or behavior needs to change first, before asking Him to change your husband. Before you know it, you may have not only a stronger marriage, but a united front when it comes to food!
Running a “manager’s special” – apples for $.99 – is not helpful to me if they are mostly inedible.
She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]
This is such a great follow-up to the last verse that I couldn’t wait to post it! Especially after the discussion we had about finding joy…
Love this. Love the idea of women running a business of their own. Love the spin that the Amplified puts on it with considering not only the financial cost of a purchase, but the commitment of time and strength that a new venture requires. There are seasons for new projects, and seasons to maintain what you have. Right now I’m in a maintenance season, and Maeve, as much fun as it is, has taken a back burner. But, the cool thing is it can always come back when I have time!
This is a good place to link the blog from my pastor that I linked recently.
Here are my current top priorities:
-Pursue God so I have strength to do what I need to do
-Care for Hannah and Audrey – food, clothing, etc.
-Care for myself and therefore my baby
-Encourage my husband as he works extra hours
-Keep my house in liveable condition
-Encourage and serve other people and pursue friendships with any additional energy
Whew. No wonder I don’t get out all that much at the moment.
What are your top priorities right now? What is your “assignment?” If we can all clarify what our job description is, then deciding whether or not we’re supposed to do something is so easy! Give us your list!
Getting back to this…might help if I included the verse!
She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.
As I child, I was a morning person. This has always made me think I should still be one, somewhere, deep down. It might be in there somewhere, but at this stage of life I come alive at night. I can stay up till all hours, talking or creating, but try to get me out of the house before about 9:30 and…it’s not pretty. Some of that has to do with having young children. If you’ve been up three times during the night, getting up before you have to is not so easy (nor all that healthy, I would suggest, for most people). I have heard from a few women that their best time of the day is before their children wake up, that they’re able to have their quiet time when it’s (gasp!) quiet! Then they’re ready to start the day. Maybe someday this will work for me. I would love for it to. Right now it just doesn’t make sense most days. What does work is getting breakfast for my kids and retreating to my bedroom or office so I can have my quiet time. This has become my habit recently, and it seems to work the best of anything I’ve tried.
I found it really interesting that the Amplified clarifies the type of food here as spiritual food rather than physical. That preaches! How can we have enough spiritual food to give away to our family if we’re starving ourselves? That question is a bit too close to home.
Another aspect of this verse: she “assigns her maids their tasks.” I think it’s Laine of lainesletters.com that talks about how our maids these days are our dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, computer, oven, and all the other gadgets we now have available to us to make our lives easier. If you think about it that way, you have a whole host of maids at your command! I try think of that idea when I can have several of my “maids” working at one time and know that in a short time we’ll have clean dishes and clean laundry and good food available to us. Thinking about my household tasks in that way makes me feel capable and excited about what I need to do each day to keep up with my home.
I’ve been a little whiney to myself lately. I’m at a point where I typically keep it to myself, because it doesn’t help anybody else any more than it helps me. But there’s been a lot of “what does it matter anyway?” going on in my head. I have gone through several seasons where staying home with kids has been very difficult for me. I love to accomplish. I love to lead and get approval. I love to organize. And sometimes, being at home with small children feels like the antithesis of anything I enjoy. But I felt God prompt me to talk to Him about that this morning. It went something like this:
Him: What is it you miss about working?
Me: (Still waking up and responding with the first thing I thought of) Dressing up.
Him: Um….you can do that. You might feel better if you did it more often.
Me: Oh. True. OK, um…doing a good job and having my boss’s approval.
Him: How often did you have bosses who were easy to please?
Me: Well…never. I never felt like I measured up with most of them.
Him: Your children and husband are very easy to please. They love you, and it takes almost nothing to make them SO happy.
Me: Oh. I miss being on a schedule. It felt important.
Him: REALLY? You’d trade that for your calm, peaceful mornings and daily nap?
Me: Um….well….no.
On and on it went like this. A couple of months ago, someone I respect said some negative things about staying home with kids that, for some reason, produced discontent in me. She has made a different life choice from me, yet has a personality that is very similar to mine. I realize that I’ve been comparing myself to her in many ways – never a good plan for anybody. Add to that how sore and well…pregnant I’m feeling, and I’ve just had a sense that what I’m doing doesn’t matter. The thought that always excites me the most about making my own home, is that I can do it the way I want to – the way God has called me to. And I can take in other people’s ideas, but throw out what I don’t like and keep what I do. How fun and creative is that? And what freedom, to not have to do it the way it’s dictated to me!
It does matter. And I always love the part where I rediscover that. And I wouldn’t trade what I have, not for all the “success” or “accomplishment” in the world.
More Daybook entries at Peggy’s
For Today…November 9, 2009
Outside my window… Clear and sunny, but brisk. Not supposed to get above 50 here today.
I am thinking…About relationships, how to get my kids well the fastest, the baby inside me that kicks nonstop, how to save money so my husband can not work quite so much.
I am hearing… Listening to the new Jesus Culture album streaming from Relevant Magazine.
Some highlights from the week…
My new iPhone. It’s fun.
Having the girls camp out on the floor of our bedroom because they’ve each had a night of fever, and then they slept till 9 one day and 10 the next. Wow. Very relaxing to wake up with the whole family in one room, and know everybody’s fine. I totally understand the draw to a family bed…don’t think I could do it all the time, but definitely understand the draw.
I am thankful for…The movements of my sweet baby, and knowing I’ll be meeting her soon. That both kids literally had 24 hours or less of fever, then it was gone, though we’re still fighting coughs and stuffy noses. That FPU, as great as it is, is over after this week.
From the kitchen… Made chicken, veggie and rice noodle soup for dinner. Neither kid wanted to eat much, but it tasted good and was something I felt really good about feeding them when they’re sick. Last night we made pizza – also something I felt good about, but for different reasons.
I am wearing… Green cargo pants and a long sleeved t-shirt I found at Target for $7. It has a very loud pattern on it that I’m not sure I particularly like, but it’s long enough to cover my belly. At this point, that wins over style.
I am reading… I had to take back my library book. 
Since it was new it couldn’t be renewed. Oh well, I’ll get it again and pick up where I left off. I’ve been enjoying being able to read the blogs from my Google Reader on my iPhone. The thing is just cool…
I am hoping… The kids continue to get well and that Nick and I are able to fight off whatever they had. They both complained of a sore throat and had low (maybe 101, tops) fevers. I’ve felt a sore throat coming on a couple times this week, but took stuff and got rid of it. Time to disinfect the house – vinegar, water, and tea tree oil here I come!
I am creating…the tone in my home. I’ve realized the past few weeks that we’ve gotten off track in this area. Too many long days, Daddy gone too much, Mommy getting too tired to be nice. It is so important to me that my children remember me as kind and cheerful most of the time. I don’t want to be (or sound) impatient on a consistent basis, or lose my temper too easily. This is a difficult point in our lives, but really, you could say that MOST of the time. There’s always something I can choose to be upset or worried about. They say that the tough times reveal your true character. At this point the plan is to reign in any unnecessary spending, even more than we have, so we can hopefully cut a night or two out of Nick’s pizza schedule each week. Having him home more will help quite a bit I think. He’d been hitting 60-65 hours/week pretty consistently for the past 3 1/2 months, and this baby could come anytime after Thanksgiving. Something needs to give now. The 16+ hour days are very rough – on him and us.
I am praying… Enough said for now.
One of my favorite things… Pumpkin bread sweetened with maple syrup. It seems to be the one sweetener I’ve ever found that doesn’t leave my blood sugar so messed up that I black out the whole next day after eating too much of it. Then again, I could just quit eating too much of it?
A few plans for the rest of the week… We have few of those this week, which I’m looking forward to. Last week we had something every day. I really don’t enjoy having to leave the house more than one or two days a week during the day. I rather enjoy our relaxed little routine in the mornings and naptime in the afternoon.
A picture thought I’m sharing… Hannah “driving” the van while we waited for Aunt Holly at Dr P’s office. Now that I have an iphone, I may actually take pictures! Imagine that!
Tonight, as I chopped up veggies for soup for my half-sick kiddos, I was pondering what I’d like to call the Pioneer Woman phenomenon.
Let’s set this up: woman marries the man of her dreams, who just happens to be a rancher and they move to the middle of Nowhere. To keep herself company, woman starts a blog, talking about the things she likes. Woman is witty, personable, creative, and raw at times – in a good way. People begin to read this blog. LOTS of people. This leads to contests, a book deal, an almost rabid following. People who pack out bookstores for signings. Woman is a celebrity in her own right.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being critical in the slightest! I love reading her blog as much as the next girl. I’m just intrigued by the whole thing. I’m intrigued by the feeling of closeness we get from this thing called the internet. I’m intrigued by how much we all want to be more creative, witty and fun to be around, and somehow we hope it will rub off if we read about it. (Maybe it does?) I’m intrigued by how much we long for relationship yet most of us spend far more time reading what other people write (or writing our own) than actually pursuing face-to-face relationships on a deep level. Do we settle for cheap substitutes? Are we left empty at the end of another clever, pretty blog entry by Pioneer Woman or anyone else? Maybe I’m way over-thinking this. Anybody have any thoughts?
